I knew you were not going angel in that moment

[Nami4444]

I knew you were not going to leave in the moment you decided you were angel. My curiosity was drawn to ask why did I sense this but it took a dream and vision for you to decide...this. Strange really.

Thinking here through this reflection..

[Rinoa]

I've only just seen this, it was more than a vision to get me to stay, there is one person on this forum who I must have the strongest connection with, and when this person found out I was leaving I felt the pain in their heart which matched my own, how could I leave after that, I will not say who that person was, to save their blushes.   

[Nami4444]

So feeling anothers pain leads you to your decisions of self?

It is a question arising through reflection of your sharing...

[Aianawa aianawa nui]

Yeah , lets get deep , love your mind Nami and i am quest , lsol

[Rinoa]

I am a very complicated person, not many people get me

[Rinoa]

And the reason I've been stopping putting up visions and may stop putting up the poems are for two reasons.

1. They feel like they are a very personal part of myself

2. Cause nobody is really interested anyway.

[Nami4444]

Yeah , lets get deep , love your mind Nami and i am quest , lsol

I love your enthusiasm in the mode of my mind....don't mind me for saying.  

[Nami4444]

I am a very complicated person, not many people get me

Angel if you take away the word complication and look at my question in light of how easy it is to base your decisions on *FEELING* others...can you see how this might occur at times?

I am sharing in honesty of how I have grown through this space of course and in support of you and your journey.

I hope you don't mind me reflecting to build a deeper level of interaction with you.

[Nami4444]

And the reason I've been stopping putting up visions and may stop putting up the poems are for two reasons.

1. They feel like they are a very personal part of myself

2. Cause nobody is really interested anyway.

Yes often they are only about ourselves but sometimes in the sharing of self there is much that others can take if they need it too.

Holding others interest as I have learned is best looked at from the view of sharing with no expectation as often if we have *Needs* with expectation of others in some form, based on sharing it can hold you back from flowing with it all.

[Rinoa]

When I make a decision based on something like staying/going, making changes I always take other peoples thoughts and feelings into account, it is in my natural inner core of my being to help, care for and when needed to protect other people, that is a deep inbuilt need for me which I cannot change nor do I have a desire to change myself in that respect, does it stop me progressing in my own life? Maybe it does, but without caring and helping other people then I would just be another person who pushes their way through life regardless of the pain and suffering left in my path.

Of course this is my thoughts/ feelings about the situation that caused the original question, there are other aspects of life where my thoughts differ, but I did say I was complicated.

[Nami4444]

When I make a decision based on something like staying/going, making changes I always take other peoples thoughts and feelings into account, it is in my natural inner core of my being to help, care for and when needed to protect other people, that is a deep inbuilt need for me which I cannot change nor do I have a desire to change myself in that respect, does it stop me progressing in my own life? Maybe it does, but without caring and helping other people then I would just be another person who pushes their way through life regardless of the pain and suffering left in my path.

Yes deep inbuilt needs can lead us to where we need to be.

Care is an interesting thing. Care and support of those we love and want to assist can take on greater meaning through many levels of being and need.

So what you share makes sense in the greater scheme of things I see. And where I see you being.

Thankyou for reflecting...I always have liked the quote from Marianne Williamson.

Be the change you wish to see.

[Nami4444]

When I make a decision based on something like staying/going, making changes I always take other peoples thoughts and feelings into account, it is in my natural inner core of my being to help, care for and when needed to protect other people, that is a deep inbuilt need for me which I cannot change nor do I have a desire to change myself in that respect, does it stop me progressing in my own life? Maybe it does, but without caring and helping other people then I would just be another person who pushes their way through life regardless of the pain and suffering left in my path.

Of course this is my thoughts/ feelings about the situation that caused the original question, there are other aspects of life where my thoughts differ, but I did say I was complicated.

I missed this bit you added later..but thankyou again.

[Rinoa]

Sorry about that, but I will explain although this was situations that have long past, I was in a relationship which lasted for seven years, the last two years of the relationship there was no love for this man left in me, as he had been a cheat and my love had died, but he was very effective in the use of mind games and emotional blackmail, telling me if I left him he would end his life, so I stayed for two more years feeling trapped and drained, because I cared too much and was afraid if i left I would be responsible if he killed himself, then after them two years I fell pregnant with my son, for some reason I'm not sure of at the same time I found out I was pregnant was the same time I turn round and told him that we were over, he then said the next funeral you will go to will be mine, but I left anyway..........of course he didn't kill himself and moved in with another woman two weeks after I left him....I guess my point here is I cared too much in that part of my life, but that was the past.

[Nami4444]

Sorry about that, but I will explain although this was situations that have long past, I was in a relationship which lasted for seven years, the last two years of the relationship there was no love for this man left in me, as he had been a cheat and my love had died, but he was very effective in the use of mind games and emotional blackmail, telling me if I left him he would end his life, so I stayed for two more years feeling trapped and drained, because I cared too much and was afraid if i left I would be responsible if he killed himself, then after them two years I fell pregnant with my son, for some reason I'm not sure of at the same time I found out I was pregnant was the same time I turn round and told him that we were over, he then said the next funeral you will go to will be mine, but I left anyway..........of course he didn't kill himself and moved in with another woman two weeks after I left him....I guess my point here is I cared too much in that part of my life, but that was the past.

Thanks for sharing that open honest story..
Yes your story shows that being tied to others in ways where they hold you ransom...

But ultimately it is self holding itself to that space as you learned I imagine.

Its not easy to walk from that space where another is holding us in this way. I know many caring souls who have faced this and it challenges us to trust fully in what our heart wants for ourselves.

I suspect you learned through this connection with you ex to now not be tied to others needs in relation to the decisions you make for you.

[Rinoa]

I stayed single for ten years after I left him, I brought my son up on my own, lol it was the most peaceful ten years of my life, so far in relationships go despite what happened before, in relationships there has to be a balance for me of both of us being happy, a one way relationship were one person is happy and the other isn't is never going to work, no matter how long you stick at it, sometimes it's best to leave in the early stages so emotional damage is kept to a minimum.

[Nami4444]

I stayed single for ten years after I left him, I brought my son up on my own, lol it was the most peaceful ten years of my life, so far in relationships go despite what happened before, in relationships there has to be a balance for me of both of us being happy, a one way relationship were one person is happy and the other isn't is never going to work, no matter how long you stick at it, sometimes it's best to leave in the early stages so emotional damage is kept to a minimum.

FInding peace after troubled waters can be a blessing in disguise..

I look at my own relationship and see the divisions between my h and I as serving a purpose of growth at the individual level. I have learned to let him walk his path in his space of feeling, and me in my own. The balance of happiness starts within self to be shared and allow the other to open to what they feel and deal accordingly. WE are all responsible for our own feelings of course.

I am grateful I allowed myself my own journey within the relationship I have with my h as well as allowing him his own journey to find his own dream. AS companions on this journey we are only on loan, it makes sense to me to hold each other lightly.

Setting boundaries is great learning for those who have been tied to the burdens of others feelings and responses to feelings.

Its great you made a conscious decision for you back then..

[Rinoa]

I have often wondered though if I would still of being stuck there even now if it was not for me falling pregnant, because on pondering this I believe that the thought of a child being brought up in the scenario was what gave me the strength to end the relationship, such is the protectiveness i felt for my unborn baby.

[Nami4444]

I have often wondered though if I would still of being stuck there even now if it was not for me falling pregnant, because on pondering this I believe that the thought of a child being brought up in the scenario was what gave me the strength to end the relationship, such is the protectiveness i felt for my unborn baby.

Yes that thought crossed my mind too as I was reading your sharing.

There are points in my own connection and disconnection with my h where by my son seemed to be that foundation or connection that kept me pushing through.

I don't think you can ascertain what is right or wrong in choices and changes. You have to trust that inner voice and your heart no matter what connection opens you to the space as I have learned.

I protected my son for many years from my h in his disconnection and my own. But having come through that level now I see that it was important in those early days for all as one. We have only our own heart to follow in the space of our children and what we choose for ourselves of course opens them to that choice as one with us.

[Rinoa]

Anyway I have wavered of the original question, I often find myself being asked a question and while answering I find myself walking down a different path

[Nami4444]

Anyway I have wavered of the original question, I often find myself being asked a question and while answering I find myself walking down a different path

That is often how it aligns to open the greater process..

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